Jerry Robinowitz on: The man shortage….

Jerry Robinowitz on Life is a little something we have worked up where Jerry helps me write about new and important issues…..

Jerry Robinowitz on: The man shortage….
This is a good time to be a man in the United States…there are not enough men to go around…for sometime now, we have been aware of the fact that there is a man shortage…not a shortage of good men…but of men in general, men who can read…men with all of their teeth…just plain average I can chew my food without assistance kind of men…but it seems based upon observations of behavior by women and through conversations and generally based upon information and belief that the man shortage is not as well known as it should be, so we will inform you here of this horrible situation.(yeah right…the men in cities with a man shortage think that it is great…)There is a man shortage.don`t believe me? think about this for a second….how many women do you know that end up getting with these ugly, thuggish, “he don’t even brush his teeth or wash” kind of guys? I bet more than you realize!  Often, women will date men who are just beneath them or who they believe have potential?Why?You really think it is because they are humanitarians? I mean come on, I will share a bar of ivory soap, your man does not have to stink.  Actually, what is going on can actually be fully understood when looked at in the context of the man shortage!  You see, no one is picking up sticks and going home to make toothpicks. Why? Because there are toothpicks all over the place and they are readily available. You ain’t home carving toothpicks on Sundays.  Likewise, I ain’t never picked up a straw and some cotton and tried to make a Q-tip. Why? Because there are Q-tips all over the place and you can just go to a 99 cent store and buy a hundred of them.  There is no shortage of these things so we don’t do foolish things to compensate. However, note the following: Have you ever been caught somewhere without a spoon with an individual sized pudding or cup of soup or something like that? It happens every now and again and what happens? You become Maguyver…you start inventing stuff you didn’t even know was possible.  You can be bad at math, but you will find yourself doing calculus to figure out the radius of some silly object u are about to fashion into a spoon so that you can consume your delectable delight. Why? Because there is a spoon shortage or no spoon is readily available. Once I made chop sticks out of two number two pencils to eat cup o noodles in my office at like 3am when I was working on something.  Now back to what I was saying…see…there is a man shortageand women start trying to fashion themselves a Fabio!  It is really sad!  Women start saying to themselves – “he doesn’t really stink” or after looking at his teeth, they start telling themselves “that’s not really yellow.”  But honey, it is yellow and you better be careful because when he drinks water it probably tastes like lemonade!The sad truth is, in many cities in the United States and around the world, there is a serious man shortage!  However, there is hope.  Even though there are not enough men to go around, you can be proactive and make the best of a bad situation.

HOW TO COPE WITH A MAN SHORTAGE:

1) Become informed about the man shortage!  Tell your friends. Discuss the problem. Be proactive!

2) If you find a good man, don’t tell your friends.   If you find a good man, do n0t let him leave! You stalk the crap out of him (unless he`s Jerry Robinowitz or myself of course, then you keep your freaking distance or we will choke you with a chicken bone)!

3) Do not spend your time playing games.  There is a man shortage. Other women know that there is a man shortage.  Remember, one person`s inhibitions are another person`s point of entry!  What does that mean? Let’s look at some examples (some crude examples):

You don’t want to swallow? That is okay.  You don’t have to.  However, don’t expect a man in a city with a man shortage to stick around!  Some chick is going to do it.  That is right, you have inhibitions and won’t do things?   Fine!  Some hoochie is calling his phone or writing him on Twitter or Facebook and telling him that you are a “prude” and that she likes it up the nose.  Seriously.  I know you were not prepared for that, but it is the truth!  Come on, don’t lose your man to some chick who is so loose she takes it up the nose!  In a city with a man shortage, you must do anything you have to in order to Make it happen!  Keep that man!

4) Avoid Guys in Jail!  Remember: you have better things to do on Saturdays than to visit jail! If he is there, hey, I am not hating but, at least wait until he comes home before you start fashioning yourself a Fabio. Live life women!  The truth is, in jail, you won’t know if the love is real, because well, he is a captive.  Now if you were with him before, he stood by you and you love him, that may be different, but most of the time, that is not the case.  Look I totally understand that the loose chick who takes it up the nose is visiting him too but hey, you gotta be strong!

5) You have to do the 50-50 thing!  Don’t ask him to pay for everything. All of those crazy antiquated dating rules go out the window in a city with a man shortage.  They were created in a time where it was a lot harder to meet and date a good woman.  Be a student of history and the economy.  If not, you will always lose to a more on point chick who is not trying to take him for all of his stuff.  Most likely, he has nothing. If he does have lots of money, go to the top of this paragraph and begin to reread. This is important. There are women out there who can cook, clean and hold down nice jobs. They just want company and companionship. They will pay for it. They will kill for it. Men love these women. The hoodrats say they are “wifey material”. The thugs call them “ride or die chicks”.  Sometimes they are “Sugar mommas”. They will be supportive of him, even when he is at his worse.  They will hold him down, feed him and not stress him. They will always win in the end. Even stupid men who go out “play” or “stray” at clubs or in other situations, do so and then return to these women. You will never win out to one if you are not one. I am not saying you are not one of those women but if you are not, please go back and start reading this paragraph again. Look: don’t be a “jigga you dont buy me reeboks no more” kind of woman.

6)  If you have a man, you hold onto him for dear life!  He wants to go to the store? Take your butt with him.   He has to pee? Go with him! Hold it if you have to…at least then you know where it is! I mean come on…there is a chick out there taking it up the nose…don’t take any chances

7) If you meet a woman and she has unusually large and loose nostrils you kick the crap outta her and u let her know to stay away from your man. Don’t have a man? You kick that chick in the nose and tell her that she better not mess your hustle up, because you’re trying to make it happen!  Don’t be shy!

8) Finally, if you have tried everything and nothing works…you didn’t hear this from me but I hear some men like to put it in the nose…..

Until next time….good luck and god speed…this is Jerry Robinowitz and I signing off….