HOW TO CHEAT

Seriously, what is cheating?

Are You A Cheater?   Is it like porn having no definition but you know it when you see it?  Is that ok?

When you are in a relationship, the rules for interacting with people of the opposite sex change.  At least, they are supposed to.  Some people feel that if you have to change your behavior, you are not in a good relationship.  Others feel that there are things you just don’t do if you are in a relationship.

HOW TO CHEAT

What cheating is and what it is not really is not always simple.  That being stated, lets start with what is definitely cheating:

1) Having Sex with Someone who is not your partner when you are in a committed relationship

If you are having sex with someone who is not your girlfriend or boyfriend and you have a girlfriend or boyfriend, you have no business even uttering the question “what is cheating.”  That is because you known darn well what cheating is, it is what you are doing, did, or have been doing.  You seriously need to get it together, because you are a cheater.   Of course you are lying to him or her, it makes sense, because you are probably lying to yourself.

What is Cheating?  Having sex with someone other than your partner, outside of their presence without their permission.

2) Anything that leads to Herpes

A Medical School professor once included the following exam question – “What lasts longer: Ever lasting love or Herpes?”  The correct answer was Herpes.  Unfortunately, it always is.

What is cheating?  Well, if you are in a relationship and you are doing something that can lead you to pick up something that lasts longer than everlasting love, then well, you are cheating.

3) “You can’t catch that from a toilet” –

Getting anything that leads to something you need antibiotics for that you can’t catch from a toilet is cheating from someone other than your significant other is cheating.  Such a situation is not just cheating, it is a serious violation of the trust and safety of your partner.  If you find yourself peeing fire after cheating, go to the doctor.   Do not self treat yourself at the supermarket with cranberry juice or some other silly item of that sort. Cranberry Juice does not cure the fire that lives in water. This is different than the last class of cheating, because ever lasting love lasts longer than these things.  However your relationship may not.

What is Cheating? Doing Something that will cause you to bring the Kooties or Ebola home. Ok fine.  Ebola is not cheating.  You can make an argument.  Kooties is not ok.  It wasn’t ok in elementary school and it isn’t ok now.


4) Engaging in Sexual Activities With a Member of The Same Sex

This is the Down Low Brother/Down Low Sister Rule (A Down Low brother or sister is someone who is living the life of a heterosexual individual and is secretly engaged in A closeted Homosexual Lifestyle).  It applies when you are in a relationship.  If you want to be gay, have a gay old time, but don’t think for a second that it is not cheating if you are doing it with someone of the same sex.  I know, this is obvious.  However, there are sooo many cheaters who use that rationale. For some reason it seems to run deep for politicians & Music Moguls, among others.  If you are leading someone to believe you are one thing and they are making life decisions based on those representations, you are not just cheating, you are maliciously destroying someone else’s life.  You are more likely than not a selfish peace of turd.  Not because you are gay.  There are plenty of amazing gay people.  It is because you are a liar.  There are plenty of gay people that will be there with the family members waiting to throw stones at you.

What is cheating? Having any sort of sex &/or sexual contact with a member of the same sex when you are married or in a relationship.  Then End.  It isn’t just cheating, it can lead to resignation of office too.

What Is Cheating?

Cheating Can Be Subjective!

5) Sexting can be Cheating

Sexting is to Cheating what Marijuana is to Drugs, it is a gateway item.  It isn’t crack.  It is a doorway to other actions and behaviors.  In no other situation do you have to wait for something horrible to happen before you can say it was going to happen.  If someone is about to swing a hammer at your head, you aren’t going to get mad at the person that stops them.  If the police catch a guy going to school with 10 guns and a grenade, they don’t have to wait until he nerd rages and takes out half the school before acting to stop him.  Well, the same applies to texting.  If you are sending suggestive pictures of yourself to someone, your partner does not have to wait until you are going to see the goods in person, or vice versa to declare you a cheater.

What is Cheating: Cheating is when you text a picture of your pinky toe to someone with a foot fetish.

6) Engaging in an Emotional Relationship 

If you are engaged in a serious emotional relationship with a member of the opposite sex that is not related to you, you are a cheater.  Emotional cheating is sometimes worse than physical cheating.  It can be very hurtful and destroy a relationship.  If you see this happening, it is a serious sign of cheating or in some cases, it is the precursor to an affair. Also, as we say often on this site, beware of the platonic friend.  All is fun and games until you remember that most of us spent our lives believing that pluto was a planet, only to find out we had been lied to.  They aren’t the same word, but they are close enough to worry.

What is Cheating: cheating is when you are in an emotional relationship with someone who is not in a committed relationship or a cheater is someone who has not closed the door to an emotional relationship with someone they were previously in a relationship with.

7) Kissing anywhere but the cheek

This can lead to herpes.  But even more, it can lead to fights.  If the kiss is on a sexual organ, forget about it, you are cheating.  Even the cheek may be a fight, but it will probably not lead to someone stabbing you in your sleep.

What is cheating? HOW TO CHEAT: Kissing someone anywhere but the cheek, including the butt.  If you are kissing someone’s butt, it can be cheating.

8) Doing anything that can lead to sexual arousal or stimulus and continuing to do so

Heavy Petting, leaning on someone, grinding on someone at a club or elsewhere, meetups in the supply closet, rubbing legs, light massages, sucking fingers, and things of that sort are all cheating.  Essentially foreplay is cheating.  If it is possible that something is considered foreplay, than you are already about the catch a cheating charge.

What is cheatingHow to Cheat? When Bill used the Cigar on Monica, he may not have thought he was having sex, but he knew he was cheating.  The end.


9) Cyber Sex

This comes up.  If you are chatting and text Sexing, it is cheating.  This also comes up with situations where people cheat by masturbating or engaging in sexual activity on web cameras, webcams and the like.  These are often called webcam or LiveCam situations.  Porns sites have whole areas where women and men do shows for people who send money.  Often a show wont start until a viewer sends a certain amount of money through the site’s commerce system.  The performers will set an amount and when the viewers pay in that amount, the “show” will start.  There is a reason people pay for this type of stuff, it leads to sexual gratification.  Such being the case, if you engage in it on either side, it is a form of cheating.  Another place this comes up is in “Second Life” type scenarios in which people engage in sexual activities using avitars.  Yes, this is a serious circumstance and has come up.  One woman explained the situation away by saying that it was “like a video game” and therapeutic.  Her therapist thought the same thing.  Her husband on the other hand needed some therapy of his own.

What is cheating? HOW TO CHEAT: If someone is having sex with your avitar and you are participating, or if someone is engaged in a sexual performance that you are watching in order to gratify that person or you, you are cheating.  If you are the performer, you are also cheating, unless your significant other knows and you are getting paid, in which case, you are a porn star.  But not a good porn star.  You are the porn star equivalent to one of those guys or girls that thinks he or she is a model because a photographer takes pictures of him or her and he or she has 10 or 15 thousand friends as a result on the internet.  Real models and porn stars get a W-2 or a 1099 at the end of the year.  You are just a cheater.

10) Keeping in Touch with Exes

This is the classic fight waiting to happen and people still do it.  Keeping in touch with an ex is never a good idea.  If you have children, the role of being co-parent with someone else may make this avoidable.  Otherwise, a clean break is what is needed.  Nothing good can come of stale wee wee (boys have one) or vajayjay (girls have one).  You wouldn’t eat or handle a peace of candy that was two years past it’s expiration date.  Why are you talking to a guy or girl who is?

Facebook friending exes after the relationship is over is another way to cheat on Facebook.  If you can talk on facebook, you can cheat on Facebook.  As many a scorned man or woman has discovered, cheating and Facebook often go had and hand.  One Congressman’s wife recently found out that cheating and twitter can go together as well.  Cheating and Facebook run together no differently than putting a drug addict into a house full of drugs, it just is not a good idea to put someone who was in a relationship into a situation where they can relapse.  When your ex is sitting there, a click away, it is easier to maintain contact on your weaker days.  The goes for being contacted.  It is the pathway to cheating.

What is a Cheater? If you keep in touch with your ex, you are probably a cheater or a cheater to be.  How to Cheat: If keep touching your ex, you are cheating.

11) “Liking” some Skanky Guy or Chick’s Pictures on Facebook or Instagram

Ok, maybe it is not cheating, but it is definitely a fight waiting to happen.  You may not be thinking it through fully, but when you like someone’s picture, it is a public act.  Now everyone sees it.  It is not a private action.  You are publically telling everyone that you like that.  ALOUD.  As yourself, if you had an old grandma, and that skanky chick was showing her breasts or bent over a table in front of her, would you go over, smack her butt and say “I like this” in front of your significant other and grandma?  I didn’t think so.  Well, that is what you are doing when you do that on Facebook or Instagram.  You are no longer just watching the train wreck, you are a part of it.

What is cheating? HOW TO CHEAT: Smacking and rubbing some skanky girl or guy’s train wreck on the internet.

by Jerry Robinowitz & I.

Retaliation is by far the sweetest fruit….I mean the world is indeed full of crazy instances in which retaliation creates a greater good. They say one person’s trash is another person’s treasure….isn’t that some really ironic stuff…I mean in relationships isn’t that the case…well in my experience you break up and she finally starts growing hair and gets some teeth whitener but hey, my experience is atypical and I don’t wanna get side tracked…you see, we are here to help you out and today, as per request, we will revisit the subject of retaliation…

Jerry Robinowitz on Retaliation

Also known as Jerry Robinowitz on Dating & Retaliation.  Retaliation is an important tool. It will always help the world to be a better place for you and me. Well, maybe just for me but hey, who the hell do you think you are anyway? So what’s retaliation you ask? Retaliation is what you do when you get someone back for something you done. Contrast this with doing something to random people for no reason cause that’s called “you are a crazy mofo and you had better not drop the soap where they are gonna put you.”  I think you get the idea. So retaliation is purely in response to something. Now don’t feel as if you have to do someone a favor and let them know it’s coming…in fact, you don’t do that…this is important…you must catch that fool by surprise…whatever you do, it must be unique and hit hard…for instance, some wives will during a divorce, sell a $50,000 car for $50 to a stranger just so the husband gets nothing because after all, that’s the car he used to literally ride that little deep throating flusie in…that hurts…see, once, a long long time ago someone got me so angry that I took one of those little bouillon cubes, you know the little cubes you dissolve in water and in makes it chicken soup…well I took the cube and I put it in her shower-head…that way when she came in the morning to take her shower and wash her hair, the hot water would mix with the bouillon soup and create a chicken soup shower….now you do that to someone and they will stink like chicken soup for some time….good lord if they are late for work that morning…..”hey what’s that smell”……but you get the idea…you have to come hard…inspire hatred..

The Revenge List: Who To Cheat With If You Want To Get Back At A Cheater!

Background noted, if your mate cheats on you and you want revenge you may wish to cheat as well…if so here are the people you should sleep with if you are a man…the second most powerful retaliatory act is to sleep with her mother…the biggest missile would be sleep with her father, but I don’t recommend that..its crazy…and I’m personally not gay but if you are a homo thug, you go keep it in the family….now the third biggest hit would be siblings, brothers and sisters, followed by cousins and relatives. If you have no access or chance at one of the above, try people they claim to be related to but aren’t really..like fake cousins…none of those, find good friends, and if you are at a loss, then find an enemy…if all else fails, find out where she went to elementary school and go have sex with the girl that used to eat her boogers, or better yet, the infamous glue sniffer…


 

To recap, if you want to get back at a cheater by cheating, cheat with the following in the following order:

 

Who To Cheat With:

  1. Mother (if you are a woman) Father (if you are a man)
  2. Father (if you are a woman) Mother (if you are a man)
  3. Siblings: Brothers and Sisters
  4. Cousins and Relatives
  5. Fake Cousins & Siblings (People they grew up close to)
  6. Good Friends
  7. Enemies and Distant Friends
  8. People They think are lower than them: Glue sniffers, train wrecks, girls with yellow teeth, girls with horrible stretch marks that show them often, girls with too much make up, girls with 80’s hair, really really short guys, guys with shirtless pictures on the internet, juice heads who have no clue, spanish & black guys (if you are white, cause that will make a white man really mad..)…etc…not in that order…

In any event, you get them back! But if you’re really an adult, you will forgive, forget and when you see her again, you say, yes, that is a great idea, I would like fries with that! And then you take your french fries and you leave!  After all, we all know that cheating exes end up working at a fast food restaurant or with some other horrible situation in the years that follow our relationships…

Disclaimer: This post uses terms like “homo thug” and does so lovingly.  This site and this post are in no way intended to in anyway disrespect, vex, or alarm homosexuals.  In fact, we are very happy to have all people as readers of our site.   Anyone that thinks the term “homo thug” is derogatory has never been punched in the face by a thugged out homosexual.  If I was in a fight, I should only be so lucky if a thugged out homosexual were to punch someone in the face for me.  You should be so lucky as well.  That is all I have to say about that…

WHAT IS A MILF?

I know I have your attention. Recently, with the explosion of women who have children looking for men online and in online dating, I have noticed a proliferation in screen names and log in IDs with word combinations containing the acronym MILF. MILF646. MILF4U. MILF&COOKIES. You know what I mean. But have you ever seen some of these people? You look at their profiles and it’s a woman with Huge breasts, rolls on her sides, and six kids flanking her. If she’s black, three are asian. It is really seriously wrong.

So let me set the record straight, just so that you know, and maybe you can warn your friends. YOU CAN NOT JUST GO CALL YOURSELF A MILF. Its not just wrong, its wrong. Why you ask? Because you have no idea what MILF MEANS.

For instance, you cant say as a woman, “I am 5’5” and have 3 children. Don’t worry, I am a MILF”. You can’t just call yourself a MILF. Why? Because MILF stands for Mother I’d Love to F#%k. That’s right. I said it. It stands for Mother I’d Love to F#%k. So how can you say that? You don’t know me. And even if you do, you don’t know that I’d Love to F#%k you. MILF is a special designation. If comes from the backrooms of adolescent males who were just discovering sex and lust and noticed why the men in the neighborhood all turned their heads when a certain friends mother walked by. It is one of those American Pie, Y tu mama tambien type designations (both are references to movies in which the MILF is explored). Its not just an acronym, it’s a freakin adventure and daydream unto itself. Reality can’t possibly bring one to the places the phrase MILF can. Its just impossible. It’s the height of the wet dream. It is the dream. It’s not MOTHER I’D LIKE TO F#%K. Its not pretty older woman. It is Mother I’d Love To F#%k. You can’t just call yourself that. You have to be a mother and I have to want to do animalistic things to you for you to get such a designation. It’s the difference between liking something and coveting it to the point that god is going to send you to hell because it is so serious.

Urbandictionary.com, a random site, defines MILF as:

milf
6710 up, 898 down

“Mother I’d Like (to) F#%k”
mothers, whether married, separated or divorced, that a male individual sees as physical attractive enough to want to have sexual intercourse with them. Just cuz their moms doesn’t mean that they don’t need a spark in their love life. If they’ve ever breastfed,they have really responsive nipples and a core of erectile tissue in their breasts. The ones in good shape have worked at regaining control over their vaginas (Kegel exercises).  MILFs are usually real careful about birth control, they know accidents happen but they take responsible steps. They want to fuck with abandon, with no romantic complications for their under-19 family.
A MILF is any mother that is sexually desirable.

They have it almost right…but as you can see…the term inspires pure craziness. However, either way you put it, it’s a label that only the beholder can really accurately convey. However, in today’s online booty call age, it is slowly becoming less accurate to describe an amazingly sexy woman and more a signal that some nasty hoodrat wants you to go to her house and have sex with her while her children lie in the same bed. It has to stop.

So don’t call yourself a MILF…

Cause you can’t be a MILF unless the person you are speaking to says so!

Check out this related post: Urban Relationship Advice: The Bottom Bit#$H

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Sometimes you just can’t make up what is happening when people cheat.  You can think that you know someone, but the truth is, they can be into all sorts of crazy freaky stuff.  To be sure, you just never really know who someone is!

In this crazy episode of Cheaters, which is brought to you via World Star Hip Hop, some poor unfortunate herb (that is a guy who just got a bad bounce in this case) comes home to his house to find his girlfriend cheating.  He knew she was probably cheating..but what he found was sure to shock and awe.  We still don’t know exactly what we saw, but it was cheating, it was strange and it was definitely the closest thing to carnival or circus sex we have ever seen!  Masks and construction tape, make up and vests, creepy carnival music and a role playing girlfriend who was doing the nasty with some sort of Halloween monster…you just have to see for yourself..

Title this one: “I am gonna have to catch a case…”


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Best Break Up Songs

Have you recently had a bad break up? Check out these break up songs which can help you cope with your break up.  Breaking up with your girlfriend or breaking up with your boyfriend is difficult.  Listening to a break up song can help you cope and move on from a break up! Sometimes a Break Up Song can give you amazing relationship advice!

Use The Power of Text Messages To Get Your Ex Back – Click Here!

This list has a bunch of songs, both oldies and new music, that can help you deal with breaking up with your significant other. These are not the top break up songs, they are only a starting place…

Ace Of Base – “Don’t Turn Around”

Adele – “Someone Like You”

Aaliyah – “Miss You”

Ben Folds Five – “Song For The Dumped”

Beyonce – “Irreplaceable”

Boys II Men – Doin’ Just Fine

Chris Brown – “Say Goodbye”

Kelly Clarkson – “Since U Been Gone”

Destiny’s Child – “Survivor”

Gloria Gaynor- “’I Will Survive”

Macy Gray – “I Try” 

Cee Lo Greene – “F$#% You”

Jackson 5 – “I Want You Back”

Led Zeppelin – “Tangerine” 

Liona Lewis – “Better in Time”

Willie Nelson – “Always On My Mind”

No Doubt – “Don’t Speak”

Notorious B.I.G. aka Biggie Smalls – “Friend of Mine”

N Sync – “Bye Bye Bye”

Dolly Parton – “I Will Always Love You”

Pink – “So What”

Rihanna  –  “Rehab”

Smokey Robinson & The Miracles – “The Tracks of My Tears”

Rolling Stones – “Angie”

The Temptations – “I Wish It Would Rain”

Justin Timberlake – “Cry Me a River”

Kanye West – “Heartless”

Bill Withers – “Ain’t No Sunshine”

GUYS: Click Here to find out how one guy went from sorry to Dating Bad@#$!

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3 Ways To Catch A Cheater

by Reconsider.Us

Do you suspect your mate of cheating?  Think you are the only one with a cheating spouse or a cheating partner? You are not alone! Thousands of men & Women a year suspect their mates of cheating on them with another man or woman.  Are these questions on your mind:

Need help finding out whether your mate is cheating? There are ways to catch a cheating spouse!  Here are three methods of finding your mate if they are cheating or engaged in infidelity.  While no method is absolutely effective, using these sites might increase your likelihood of catching a cheating significant other and/or finding that cheating wife, cheating husband, cheating boyfriend, cheating girlfriend or cheating booty call!  Do these things and CATCH A CHEATER IN THE ACT!

1) SEARCH THE DATING SITES AND APPS!

This may seem obvious, but often, just searching sites and apps will reap great rewards. Remember to sign up and look for changes in his or her information. Ages might be changed as may be professional information and even zip codes. Often, a cheater will use the zip code closer to work or where they want to hang out.  This is especially true when people travel. You may catch a cheater in the dating pool of a city that is on the itinerary.

Don’t know where to look?  Most People don’t!  That is why cheaters get to be online.  However, if you can GOOGLE, then you can find the person on sites and apps!  But don’t stop at Google!  Here are 11 places that you can look to catch a cheater!



Canoodle was a search engine for dating profiles!  It was like Google but for dating site profiles.  Canoodle boasted that it had the LARGEST database of dating site profiles!  So if you want to catch someone cheating on an online dating site, Canoodle.com is without a doubt the FIRST place that would have/should checked!  According to Canoodle, they have indexed over twenty million dating profiles.  That is a lot of people and without a doubt, someone there is cheating! *UPDATE-Canoodle seems to have changed and is not providing the information they once did.

2) SHUT YOUR MOUTH!!

Never let a cheater know that you may be on to him or her.  Suspicion that is relayed through communication or action will serve to help the Cheater, not you.  How?  Simple.  If someone knows that you may be on to him or her, he or she will change up their behaviors or just work harder to evade capture.  Your biggest advantage is having the cheater think that everything is ok. No one is going to admit to cheating before they are caught cheating.  Ok, people do sometimes admit to cheating before they are caught cheating, but don’t assume that will happen.

If you start changing your patterns or behavior, the cheater will take notice.  If you start to confront the person, you put the cheater on notice that you believe something is happening.  If this is done prematurely, you can possibly destroy any chance that you may have of catching the cheater in the act!

3) TAKE NOTICE OF THE DETAILS – THEY MATTER

The truth is always in the details.  If you suspect someone is cheating on you, remember, the details will often lead you to the truth.  If someone is usually not well kept and is going out of his or her way to look nice, something is up!  If he or she has a seventies bush in the lower regions and all of a sudden it is trimmed and in the 21st Century, you may have cause for alarm…

Many people will say look for numbers and slips of paper.  However, it is the twenty first century.  People now get numbers in their phones, on email, etc.  But, it doesn’t hurt to look for numbers on slips of paper.  Remember, they may change the gender of the name to throw you off.  Another way to snoop is to backup the phone book electronically periodically and then load each backup into Microsoft Word and do a document compare, looking for new numbers.  Some people have hundreds of contacts, and this is the only way to find someone once they are in the phone.  More ways to find a cheater:

Do you suspect a MAN is cheating on you? Take notice of the following:

  • Are their hairs around that should not be there?  In his apartment? On his clothing? In the bathroom?  Women Shed and Hair is hard to get rid of.
  • Do you suspect someone is having sex in your bed? Change the sheets before you leave and invest in a small black light.  It will show what you need to see if it is there.
  • Is the phone being turned off randomly while he is out?  Is this new behavior?
  • Remember, he may not be cheating with a woman!  There are plenty of men who cheat with other men!

Do you suspect a WOMAN is cheating on you? Take notice of the following:

  • Is the toilet seat up?  This is often a very easy and commonsensical way to tell if a Man has been in the house.  Lets face it: Women don’t leave the toilet seat up!
  • Do you suspect someone is having sex in your bed? Change the sheets before you leave and invest in a small black light.  It will show what you need to see if it is there.
  • Is there a plutonic friend around? Maybe someone she has been talking about more than usual?  Are they hanging out?
  • Is she hanging out with friends more than usual? Remember, unlike men, who often turn the phone off, a woman will call you while with the person she is cheating with.  Often, he knows what is up, you don’t.
  • Remember, she may not be cheating with a man!  There are plenty of women who cheat with other women!

4) SEARCH FOR THEIR EMAIL ADDRESSES AND OTHER SCREEN NAMES

People will often reuse their email addresses or screen names.  Make it a point to search for these things.  Use combinations of search terms such as <username> and <socialmediasite> and you may even find the person’s messages & communications with other people, especially on sites like instagram. This can be true even for blocked profiles!  Often google crawls and other third party sites keep snapshots of social media activity!

5) TAKE THEIR PROFILE PICTURES OR OTHER VANITY SHOTS AND REVERSE PICTURE SEARCH ON GOOGLE!

Google is powerful. Google Images is even more powerful!  People often reuse photos.  Sometimes, you can use google and search for a person with their profile picture from another site, such as facebook.  It is shocking how many cheaters co-mingle their pictures not realizing that they can be detected because they use the same picture! TinEye is another reverse picture search site that you can use to search for someone’s social media profile or search for someone’s dating site profile using a picture.

CLICK HERE TO SEARCH GOOGLE IMAGES



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