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Top Ten Ways To Keep Your Affair a Secret

 

It does not matter how it happened.  Explain it how you wish, either way, sometimes, two people find themselves in a clandestine relationship and need to keep it secret.  Whether you are hiding an affair from your husband, hiding an affair from your wife, cheating on your girlfriend or cheating on your boyfriend, here are our top tips for keeping your relationship a secret!

How to Keep Affair Secret Tip #1: Don’t add affair as a friend on social media

One of the most important rules of being clandestine is, well, be clandestine!  Resist the urge to add your secret affair on social media sites such as Facebook and Instagram.  When suspicious lovers and partners what to poke around, social media friends and follower’s lists are often the first stop in their investigative process.  Also, it is very difficult to control who is taking pictures of whom.  With today’s tagging and face recognition technology, you can be busted without even realizing you were sloppy.  If you want to keep your affair a secret, don’t be friends on the internet.  It may even throw off a suspicious partner.

How to Keep Affair Secret Tip #2: Clear Your Browser Cache

Often, cheaters are caught because they are sloppy.  If you are trying to hide your online activity, make sure that you clear your internet browser cache and cookies.  If you are searching for gifts for your significant other, do so in your browsers secret, private, or incognito mode.  Otherwise, the next time someone opens up your browser, your internet ads will be prominently displaying those flowers that you ordered.  Sometimes, they even personalize the ads and will suggest that you get “Jill” another wonderful bouquet of flowers.  Avoid the fight and clean up after yourself.

How: In your browser settings, find the incognito or privacy window and launch it.  Keep your activities there.  Also, after each and every session on the computer, clear the browsers history and cookies.

How to Keep Affair Secret Tip #3: Clear Your Cell Phone History

 

Another mistake that people who are having an affair make is that they often do not clear their cell phone logs and call histories.    If you are having a phone intensive relationship, remember that the number you call will appear on your cell phone bill.  You may want to get a “burner” phone, which is a nickname for a prepaid phone that is not connected to you and/or your credit card.  You should make it a practice to purge your call log several times a day.

How to Keep Affair Secret Tip #4: Delete Your Emails

Another way that people get tripped up when trying to hide an affair is by leaving an email trail.  If you are communicating by email, you need to make sure you delete the messages in your inbox.  Also remember, that popular email providers like GMAIL also keep a record of your outbox, so it is a good idea to delete the messages in your outgoing mailbox as well.  Some email providers require you to empty your trash bin in order to get rid of the emails you delete, so don’t overlook the trash bin as you might have to take that extra step to ensure that what you have written and/or received is completely gone.

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How to Keep Affair Secret Tip #5: Don’t Send messages at all!!!!!

If you have to write to each other, and you have to write long letters, which of course, you should never do, consider not sending the emails at all.  Create an email account to which only you and your lover have the password and login information.  Then write away, except, when you are finished with your letter, don’t hit send.  Never hit send.  Instead, save the email as a draft.  Then it will go into the draft folder.  You can update each other that an email exists via text message.  Once each party reads the letter, that party should delete the draft.  Of course, this is based on trust.  Either of you can send or print the emails.  However, that was the case if you were just writing each other.  Here, if that does happen, there is no actual proof that you have any connection to the account.  This was one of the ways that David Patraeus allegedly communicated with his mistress during his affair.  Remember to empty the trash.

Check out this article on Rules David Petraeus broke during his affair: CLICK HERE FOR TIPS ON KEEPING YOUR CHEATING A SECRET FROM THE DAILY BEAST

(David Petraeus was the Director of the CIA who was having the affair and then everyone found out – oh..yeah…that guy…)

How to Keep Affair Secret Tip #6: Don’t spend time close to home

If you are going to cheat or have an affair, you should never do so in your own backyard.  It is very easy to get caught if you are cheating and meeting your lover close to home.  Remember the episode of Orange is the New Black in which Piper finds out her Dad was cheating?  She is sneaking into a movie with a friend and sees her father leaving the movie theater with a woman who was not her mother.  People notice.  People love to gossip.  Go to towns and places that are not close to your home and/or place of business.  If you are going to parks, go to big parks and try to stay out of big crowds.  It is easy to hide in a crowd, but it is also easy to be spotted and not even know it.  Stay away from places that you would go to with your significant other.  Don’t repeat dates with either one in the same place.  Ever.

How to Keep Affair Secret Tip #7: Use Cash, Not Credit

If Cash is not always an option, open a new bank account at a bank that is not near your home and use the debit card.  Sign up for paperless statements.  Send the receipts to a secret email account.  Cash however, is king, especially when you are having an affair or cheating.  Using credit cards is the same as leaving a big note in chalk that says, “JILL AND I ATE HERE” and your significant other WILL FIND IT!  If you are getting the cash from bank accounts that your significant other can monitor or has access to, never withdraw large amounts of cash and never withdraw it on the day that you are seeing your affair.  This is important.  ATM records not only show activity, they can show where that activity took place and help your snooping significant other catch you in the act.  Change up your methods.  Keep making small withdrawals on the days prior to your meet ups.  Nothing screams “I AM CHEATING” like an ATM withdrawal at the HOOK UP MOTEL.  Stranger things have appeared on bank and credit card statements.

How to Keep Affair Secret Tip #8: Never in your own house

 

You know all those shows that are popular right now like CSI and NCIS with all the forensics and stuff?  There is a reason they are popular.  People LOVE to solve mysteries.  People also always unknowingly leave evidence of their presence.  Hair, fluids, gum wrappers, garbage, accessories, glitter, scents, and the like are all items that can raise a significant other’s antenna.  That being the case, NEVER, EVER, have an affair in your own house if you can help it.  You can always help it.  There are multiple reasons that one of the best ways to hide an affair or to hide the fact that you are cheating is to refrain from doing things in your own house.  The first, as mentioned earlier, is clear: EVIDENCE!  The second is a little more emotional – if you get caught, your significant other may see the affair having happened in his/her own house and in his/her own bed as not just being disrespectful, but as an additional crime against him/her.  This can be really bad for your future with your significant other.  He or she may have a hard time staying in the house.  Also, the house then becomes a potential trigger factor for fights and arguments.  It will retain the taint of your affair.  It is easier to get caught where someone knows your will be and where someone can position themselves in a secret location while waiting.  Your house is one of those places, no matter what you think.

How to Keep Affair Secret Tip #9: Save your affair’s name in your phone as a new gender neutral name

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If you are going to cheat or have an affair and talk to the other person on the phone, at least be smart about it.  Don’t save the person in your phone with their name.  The best way to hide their calls and/or messages in the short term is to give that person a gender neutral name.  If you are a man cheating with a female, give the person a male name.  If you are a woman cheating with a man, give the man a girls name, and so on.  This will at least lesson the initial suspicions should you be getting a call in front of your significant other and not pick up.  When the name flashes on the screen and you choose not the answer your lover’s call, it will not be as suspicious if the person’s name is gender neutral.  There are other methods.  You can save the person with the name of a popular debt collector or utility service, such as a cable company.  This will make it look like multiple calls are just representative of the horrible time you are having with your cable.

How to Keep Affair Secret Tip #10: Deny to the end

People often confess inadvertently.  Sometimes it is because they feel guilty.  Sometimes it is because they believe someone has information.  Unless you have 100% confirmation that something is the case, do not confess.  Police officers often use tactics to get suspects to give information.  Significant others are no different.  For example, a police officer will ask how many drinks someone has had, and when someone says a number other than zero, it is an admission they have been drinking.  This is an example of a question that gives someone information they are looking for without asking for the information directly.  Beware of this type of question or conversation in particular.

How to Keep Affair Secret Tip #11: If you get caught, you are caught, decide how to proceed but NEVER, EVER, discuss the sordid details

Ok, so this is an extra tip.  However, it really isn’t related to keeping the affair secret.  This involves a situation where you were cheating or having an affair and you get caught.  In such a situation, never discuss the details of the affair.  No matter how forgiving you think that your partner is, never get baited into telling him or her what happened, where it happened, how it happened, etc.  If you are going to move on, the best way to do so is to either end the relationship and move on, or apologize and commit to working towards building a future.  No good will come of living in the past and having your significant other relive what happened and add to it in his/her imagination.  This is probably going to happen anyway.  If you decide to stay, apologize, understand that your significant other will have some issues with what has happened and may need time to heal, but there is no healing in pulling a scab off.  When you give details of love affairs with others, you do just that, you pull scabs off healing wounds.

Good Luck.  You will need it.  You my friend, are a douche!  Enjoy.

Jerry Robinowitz on: The man shortage….

Jerry Robinowitz on Life is a little something we have worked up where Jerry helps me write about new and important issues…..

Jerry Robinowitz on: The man shortage….
This is a good time to be a man in the United States…there are not enough men to go around…for sometime now, we have been aware of the fact that there is a man shortage…not a shortage of good men…but of men in general, men who can read…men with all of their teeth…just plain average I can chew my food without assistance kind of men…but it seems based upon observations of behavior by women and through conversations and generally based upon information and belief that the man shortage is not as well known as it should be, so we will inform you here of this horrible situation.(yeah right…the men in cities with a man shortage think that it is great…)There is a man shortage.don`t believe me? think about this for a second….how many women do you know that end up getting with these ugly, thuggish, “he don’t even brush his teeth or wash” kind of guys? I bet more than you realize!  Often, women will date men who are just beneath them or who they believe have potential?Why?You really think it is because they are humanitarians? I mean come on, I will share a bar of ivory soap, your man does not have to stink.  Actually, what is going on can actually be fully understood when looked at in the context of the man shortage!  You see, no one is picking up sticks and going home to make toothpicks. Why? Because there are toothpicks all over the place and they are readily available. You ain’t home carving toothpicks on Sundays.  Likewise, I ain’t never picked up a straw and some cotton and tried to make a Q-tip. Why? Because there are Q-tips all over the place and you can just go to a 99 cent store and buy a hundred of them.  There is no shortage of these things so we don’t do foolish things to compensate. However, note the following: Have you ever been caught somewhere without a spoon with an individual sized pudding or cup of soup or something like that? It happens every now and again and what happens? You become Maguyver…you start inventing stuff you didn’t even know was possible.  You can be bad at math, but you will find yourself doing calculus to figure out the radius of some silly object u are about to fashion into a spoon so that you can consume your delectable delight. Why? Because there is a spoon shortage or no spoon is readily available. Once I made chop sticks out of two number two pencils to eat cup o noodles in my office at like 3am when I was working on something.  Now back to what I was saying…see…there is a man shortageand women start trying to fashion themselves a Fabio!  It is really sad!  Women start saying to themselves – “he doesn’t really stink” or after looking at his teeth, they start telling themselves “that’s not really yellow.”  But honey, it is yellow and you better be careful because when he drinks water it probably tastes like lemonade!The sad truth is, in many cities in the United States and around the world, there is a serious man shortage!  However, there is hope.  Even though there are not enough men to go around, you can be proactive and make the best of a bad situation.

HOW TO COPE WITH A MAN SHORTAGE:

1) Become informed about the man shortage!  Tell your friends. Discuss the problem. Be proactive!

2) If you find a good man, don’t tell your friends.   If you find a good man, do n0t let him leave! You stalk the crap out of him (unless he`s Jerry Robinowitz or myself of course, then you keep your freaking distance or we will choke you with a chicken bone)!

3) Do not spend your time playing games.  There is a man shortage. Other women know that there is a man shortage.  Remember, one person`s inhibitions are another person`s point of entry!  What does that mean? Let’s look at some examples (some crude examples):

You don’t want to swallow? That is okay.  You don’t have to.  However, don’t expect a man in a city with a man shortage to stick around!  Some chick is going to do it.  That is right, you have inhibitions and won’t do things?   Fine!  Some hoochie is calling his phone or writing him on Twitter or Facebook and telling him that you are a “prude” and that she likes it up the nose.  Seriously.  I know you were not prepared for that, but it is the truth!  Come on, don’t lose your man to some chick who is so loose she takes it up the nose!  In a city with a man shortage, you must do anything you have to in order to Make it happen!  Keep that man!

4) Avoid Guys in Jail!  Remember: you have better things to do on Saturdays than to visit jail! If he is there, hey, I am not hating but, at least wait until he comes home before you start fashioning yourself a Fabio. Live life women!  The truth is, in jail, you won’t know if the love is real, because well, he is a captive.  Now if you were with him before, he stood by you and you love him, that may be different, but most of the time, that is not the case.  Look I totally understand that the loose chick who takes it up the nose is visiting him too but hey, you gotta be strong!

5) You have to do the 50-50 thing!  Don’t ask him to pay for everything. All of those crazy antiquated dating rules go out the window in a city with a man shortage.  They were created in a time where it was a lot harder to meet and date a good woman.  Be a student of history and the economy.  If not, you will always lose to a more on point chick who is not trying to take him for all of his stuff.  Most likely, he has nothing. If he does have lots of money, go to the top of this paragraph and begin to reread. This is important. There are women out there who can cook, clean and hold down nice jobs. They just want company and companionship. They will pay for it. They will kill for it. Men love these women. The hoodrats say they are “wifey material”. The thugs call them “ride or die chicks”.  Sometimes they are “Sugar mommas”. They will be supportive of him, even when he is at his worse.  They will hold him down, feed him and not stress him. They will always win in the end. Even stupid men who go out “play” or “stray” at clubs or in other situations, do so and then return to these women. You will never win out to one if you are not one. I am not saying you are not one of those women but if you are not, please go back and start reading this paragraph again. Look: don’t be a “jigga you dont buy me reeboks no more” kind of woman.

6)  If you have a man, you hold onto him for dear life!  He wants to go to the store? Take your butt with him.   He has to pee? Go with him! Hold it if you have to…at least then you know where it is! I mean come on…there is a chick out there taking it up the nose…don’t take any chances

7) If you meet a woman and she has unusually large and loose nostrils you kick the crap outta her and u let her know to stay away from your man. Don’t have a man? You kick that chick in the nose and tell her that she better not mess your hustle up, because you’re trying to make it happen!  Don’t be shy!

8) Finally, if you have tried everything and nothing works…you didn’t hear this from me but I hear some men like to put it in the nose…..

Until next time….good luck and god speed…this is Jerry Robinowitz and I signing off….

 

best first date ideas & dating tips first date

5 First Date Ideas

New to dating?  New to the dating scene?  Maybe you have been dating for a while but have learned the hard way that dating can be expensive!  Looking for inexpensive and/or free dates?  Here are five first date ideas to help you have an amazing time with someone!  Plan the best first date ever!

First Date Idea #1

Go Out to Eat At A Restaurant!

The best first date ideas are often those that are time tested.  This is a classic first date idea.  However, you should choose restaurants that are interesting.  Japanese and Korean BBQ places are often cool because you are cooking with one another and they can be exciting.  Such places force people to communicate and can be used to encourage interaction and teamwork.  Cooking together can be an amazing bonding experience!  This is a way to do that outside of the house!   Avoid places that are not conducive to communication.  Also, avoid discussing exes and prior relationships unless asked, and even then, don’t go into the debbie downer details.

First Date Idea Tip: Use Yelp to lower your dating costs!  Did you know that Yelp has amazing coupons & deals on thousands of restaurants?  Pick the restaurant ahead of time on YELP DEALS & you can save serious money while eating at amazing places.  The Yelp program will allow you to get huge discounts on restaurants and bars if you buy a voucher for use on the SAME DAY.  If you are subtle enough and pull the waiter aside to discuss the details, she will never know!  Programs such as this can allow you to do more with less money and look good while doing it!  CLICK HERE for more information on Yelp Deals

 

First Date Idea #2

This first date idea is more of an idea of what not to do: DON’T GO TO THE MOVIES.

Movies are a HORRIBLE place to have a first date!  How can you talk during a film in a dark room?  Don’t even think about taking a girl you don’t know into a room and fondling her or trying to get to ANY base.  This is douche bag territory and should be avoided at all costs!  Movie theaters are not conducive to communication and that is the goal on the first date: to communicate!  Going to the movies is a really bad first date idea.  AVOID IT AT ALL COSTS, EVEN IF THE OTHER PERSON SUGGESTS IT!

 

First Date Idea #3

 Meet Up For A Drink

“Drink” doesn’t just mean alcohol.  The goal is to talk and communicate and get to know one another.  Alcohol and bars are just one way to do such a thing.  However, some people do not like to go out drinking.  Make sure you ask before you invite.  You can always go to a coffee shop or have hot chocolate somewhere.  Places like DAVE & BUSTERS with Games and other such amusements are also good choices for first dates.

First Date Idea Tip: Like the advice in First Date Idea #1, you can use vouchers from YELP DEALS to get restaurant & bar discounts.  There are often some amazing bars included and the vouchers often cover food & drinks!  These types of discount programs can save you a fortune on drinks and can open up your options dramatically.  Look for rooftop bars & fancy places like speakeasys.  Often, some very trendy places are participating in groupon and Yelp instant deals.  This is especially cool and useful when the date is not planned but rather spontaneous.  Yelp Deals are often discounts on the SAME DAY.  Just check the inventory and see what is available! CLICK HERE for more information on Yelp Deals

 

First Date Idea #4

 Take a Day Trip to a Nearby City!

If your date is spontaneous and likes adventure, suggest taking a bus to a nearby city!  Are you in New York?  If so, consider taking a bus from Chinatown or Midtown to Boston or Philly!  Bolt Bus and Mega Bus are pretty cool options and can be pretty cheap.  The best part: buses are public places, so you don’t have to worry about awkward alone moments!  You can book seats up to the time of departure on many buses! If your city is not ideal for you, another city can be a great place for dating!

First Date Idea Tip: Like the advice in First Date Idea #1, you can use vouchers from YELP DEALS to get restaurant & bar discounts & site seeing in another city.   CLICK HERE for more information on Yelp Deals

 

First Date Idea #5

 Free Dates!  Have a picnic or scavenger hunt around your city!

If your date likes parks or the outdoors, you should consider a picnic.  Picnic’s are cool because you can plan them and have them in some amazing places: Parks, Sidewalks, on Ferries, on mountains after a hike, etc.

First Date Idea Tip: Want to have a more adventurous first date?  Have a scavenger hunt!  Find out what your date is interested in and create a hunt that takes you to get items related to that interest all over the city!  Make maps and checklists!  Take pictures doing silly things.  This can be a great idea if you are new to dating as it is an activity that is not your normal date!

First Date Idea Tip: Put five different date ideas in a bag or cup and have your date pick them one at a time.  If she likes the first one, she might ask to pick again!


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HOW TO CHEAT

Seriously, what is cheating?

Are You A Cheater?   Is it like porn having no definition but you know it when you see it?  Is that ok?

When you are in a relationship, the rules for interacting with people of the opposite sex change.  At least, they are supposed to.  Some people feel that if you have to change your behavior, you are not in a good relationship.  Others feel that there are things you just don’t do if you are in a relationship.

HOW TO CHEAT

What cheating is and what it is not really is not always simple.  That being stated, lets start with what is definitely cheating:

1) Having Sex with Someone who is not your partner when you are in a committed relationship

If you are having sex with someone who is not your girlfriend or boyfriend and you have a girlfriend or boyfriend, you have no business even uttering the question “what is cheating.”  That is because you known darn well what cheating is, it is what you are doing, did, or have been doing.  You seriously need to get it together, because you are a cheater.   Of course you are lying to him or her, it makes sense, because you are probably lying to yourself.

What is Cheating?  Having sex with someone other than your partner, outside of their presence without their permission.

2) Anything that leads to Herpes

A Medical School professor once included the following exam question – “What lasts longer: Ever lasting love or Herpes?”  The correct answer was Herpes.  Unfortunately, it always is.

What is cheating?  Well, if you are in a relationship and you are doing something that can lead you to pick up something that lasts longer than everlasting love, then well, you are cheating.

3) “You can’t catch that from a toilet” –

Getting anything that leads to something you need antibiotics for that you can’t catch from a toilet is cheating from someone other than your significant other is cheating.  Such a situation is not just cheating, it is a serious violation of the trust and safety of your partner.  If you find yourself peeing fire after cheating, go to the doctor.   Do not self treat yourself at the supermarket with cranberry juice or some other silly item of that sort. Cranberry Juice does not cure the fire that lives in water. This is different than the last class of cheating, because ever lasting love lasts longer than these things.  However your relationship may not.

What is Cheating? Doing Something that will cause you to bring the Kooties or Ebola home. Ok fine.  Ebola is not cheating.  You can make an argument.  Kooties is not ok.  It wasn’t ok in elementary school and it isn’t ok now.


4) Engaging in Sexual Activities With a Member of The Same Sex

This is the Down Low Brother/Down Low Sister Rule (A Down Low brother or sister is someone who is living the life of a heterosexual individual and is secretly engaged in A closeted Homosexual Lifestyle).  It applies when you are in a relationship.  If you want to be gay, have a gay old time, but don’t think for a second that it is not cheating if you are doing it with someone of the same sex.  I know, this is obvious.  However, there are sooo many cheaters who use that rationale. For some reason it seems to run deep for politicians & Music Moguls, among others.  If you are leading someone to believe you are one thing and they are making life decisions based on those representations, you are not just cheating, you are maliciously destroying someone else’s life.  You are more likely than not a selfish peace of turd.  Not because you are gay.  There are plenty of amazing gay people.  It is because you are a liar.  There are plenty of gay people that will be there with the family members waiting to throw stones at you.

What is cheating? Having any sort of sex &/or sexual contact with a member of the same sex when you are married or in a relationship.  Then End.  It isn’t just cheating, it can lead to resignation of office too.

What Is Cheating?

Cheating Can Be Subjective!

5) Sexting can be Cheating

Sexting is to Cheating what Marijuana is to Drugs, it is a gateway item.  It isn’t crack.  It is a doorway to other actions and behaviors.  In no other situation do you have to wait for something horrible to happen before you can say it was going to happen.  If someone is about to swing a hammer at your head, you aren’t going to get mad at the person that stops them.  If the police catch a guy going to school with 10 guns and a grenade, they don’t have to wait until he nerd rages and takes out half the school before acting to stop him.  Well, the same applies to texting.  If you are sending suggestive pictures of yourself to someone, your partner does not have to wait until you are going to see the goods in person, or vice versa to declare you a cheater.

What is Cheating: Cheating is when you text a picture of your pinky toe to someone with a foot fetish.

6) Engaging in an Emotional Relationship 

If you are engaged in a serious emotional relationship with a member of the opposite sex that is not related to you, you are a cheater.  Emotional cheating is sometimes worse than physical cheating.  It can be very hurtful and destroy a relationship.  If you see this happening, it is a serious sign of cheating or in some cases, it is the precursor to an affair. Also, as we say often on this site, beware of the platonic friend.  All is fun and games until you remember that most of us spent our lives believing that pluto was a planet, only to find out we had been lied to.  They aren’t the same word, but they are close enough to worry.

What is Cheating: cheating is when you are in an emotional relationship with someone who is not in a committed relationship or a cheater is someone who has not closed the door to an emotional relationship with someone they were previously in a relationship with.

7) Kissing anywhere but the cheek

This can lead to herpes.  But even more, it can lead to fights.  If the kiss is on a sexual organ, forget about it, you are cheating.  Even the cheek may be a fight, but it will probably not lead to someone stabbing you in your sleep.

What is cheating? HOW TO CHEAT: Kissing someone anywhere but the cheek, including the butt.  If you are kissing someone’s butt, it can be cheating.

8) Doing anything that can lead to sexual arousal or stimulus and continuing to do so

Heavy Petting, leaning on someone, grinding on someone at a club or elsewhere, meetups in the supply closet, rubbing legs, light massages, sucking fingers, and things of that sort are all cheating.  Essentially foreplay is cheating.  If it is possible that something is considered foreplay, than you are already about the catch a cheating charge.

What is cheatingHow to Cheat? When Bill used the Cigar on Monica, he may not have thought he was having sex, but he knew he was cheating.  The end.


9) Cyber Sex

This comes up.  If you are chatting and text Sexing, it is cheating.  This also comes up with situations where people cheat by masturbating or engaging in sexual activity on web cameras, webcams and the like.  These are often called webcam or LiveCam situations.  Porns sites have whole areas where women and men do shows for people who send money.  Often a show wont start until a viewer sends a certain amount of money through the site’s commerce system.  The performers will set an amount and when the viewers pay in that amount, the “show” will start.  There is a reason people pay for this type of stuff, it leads to sexual gratification.  Such being the case, if you engage in it on either side, it is a form of cheating.  Another place this comes up is in “Second Life” type scenarios in which people engage in sexual activities using avitars.  Yes, this is a serious circumstance and has come up.  One woman explained the situation away by saying that it was “like a video game” and therapeutic.  Her therapist thought the same thing.  Her husband on the other hand needed some therapy of his own.

What is cheating? HOW TO CHEAT: If someone is having sex with your avitar and you are participating, or if someone is engaged in a sexual performance that you are watching in order to gratify that person or you, you are cheating.  If you are the performer, you are also cheating, unless your significant other knows and you are getting paid, in which case, you are a porn star.  But not a good porn star.  You are the porn star equivalent to one of those guys or girls that thinks he or she is a model because a photographer takes pictures of him or her and he or she has 10 or 15 thousand friends as a result on the internet.  Real models and porn stars get a W-2 or a 1099 at the end of the year.  You are just a cheater.

10) Keeping in Touch with Exes

This is the classic fight waiting to happen and people still do it.  Keeping in touch with an ex is never a good idea.  If you have children, the role of being co-parent with someone else may make this avoidable.  Otherwise, a clean break is what is needed.  Nothing good can come of stale wee wee (boys have one) or vajayjay (girls have one).  You wouldn’t eat or handle a peace of candy that was two years past it’s expiration date.  Why are you talking to a guy or girl who is?

Facebook friending exes after the relationship is over is another way to cheat on Facebook.  If you can talk on facebook, you can cheat on Facebook.  As many a scorned man or woman has discovered, cheating and Facebook often go had and hand.  One Congressman’s wife recently found out that cheating and twitter can go together as well.  Cheating and Facebook run together no differently than putting a drug addict into a house full of drugs, it just is not a good idea to put someone who was in a relationship into a situation where they can relapse.  When your ex is sitting there, a click away, it is easier to maintain contact on your weaker days.  The goes for being contacted.  It is the pathway to cheating.

What is a Cheater? If you keep in touch with your ex, you are probably a cheater or a cheater to be.  How to Cheat: If keep touching your ex, you are cheating.

11) “Liking” some Skanky Guy or Chick’s Pictures on Facebook or Instagram

Ok, maybe it is not cheating, but it is definitely a fight waiting to happen.  You may not be thinking it through fully, but when you like someone’s picture, it is a public act.  Now everyone sees it.  It is not a private action.  You are publically telling everyone that you like that.  ALOUD.  As yourself, if you had an old grandma, and that skanky chick was showing her breasts or bent over a table in front of her, would you go over, smack her butt and say “I like this” in front of your significant other and grandma?  I didn’t think so.  Well, that is what you are doing when you do that on Facebook or Instagram.  You are no longer just watching the train wreck, you are a part of it.

What is cheating? HOW TO CHEAT: Smacking and rubbing some skanky girl or guy’s train wreck on the internet.

by Jerry Robinowitz & I.

Retaliation is by far the sweetest fruit….I mean the world is indeed full of crazy instances in which retaliation creates a greater good. They say one person’s trash is another person’s treasure….isn’t that some really ironic stuff…I mean in relationships isn’t that the case…well in my experience you break up and she finally starts growing hair and gets some teeth whitener but hey, my experience is atypical and I don’t wanna get side tracked…you see, we are here to help you out and today, as per request, we will revisit the subject of retaliation…

Jerry Robinowitz on Retaliation

Also known as Jerry Robinowitz on Dating & Retaliation.  Retaliation is an important tool. It will always help the world to be a better place for you and me. Well, maybe just for me but hey, who the hell do you think you are anyway? So what’s retaliation you ask? Retaliation is what you do when you get someone back for something you done. Contrast this with doing something to random people for no reason cause that’s called “you are a crazy mofo and you had better not drop the soap where they are gonna put you.”  I think you get the idea. So retaliation is purely in response to something. Now don’t feel as if you have to do someone a favor and let them know it’s coming…in fact, you don’t do that…this is important…you must catch that fool by surprise…whatever you do, it must be unique and hit hard…for instance, some wives will during a divorce, sell a $50,000 car for $50 to a stranger just so the husband gets nothing because after all, that’s the car he used to literally ride that little deep throating flusie in…that hurts…see, once, a long long time ago someone got me so angry that I took one of those little bouillon cubes, you know the little cubes you dissolve in water and in makes it chicken soup…well I took the cube and I put it in her shower-head…that way when she came in the morning to take her shower and wash her hair, the hot water would mix with the bouillon soup and create a chicken soup shower….now you do that to someone and they will stink like chicken soup for some time….good lord if they are late for work that morning…..”hey what’s that smell”……but you get the idea…you have to come hard…inspire hatred..

The Revenge List: Who To Cheat With If You Want To Get Back At A Cheater!

Background noted, if your mate cheats on you and you want revenge you may wish to cheat as well…if so here are the people you should sleep with if you are a man…the second most powerful retaliatory act is to sleep with her mother…the biggest missile would be sleep with her father, but I don’t recommend that..its crazy…and I’m personally not gay but if you are a homo thug, you go keep it in the family….now the third biggest hit would be siblings, brothers and sisters, followed by cousins and relatives. If you have no access or chance at one of the above, try people they claim to be related to but aren’t really..like fake cousins…none of those, find good friends, and if you are at a loss, then find an enemy…if all else fails, find out where she went to elementary school and go have sex with the girl that used to eat her boogers, or better yet, the infamous glue sniffer…


 

To recap, if you want to get back at a cheater by cheating, cheat with the following in the following order:

 

Who To Cheat With:

  1. Mother (if you are a woman) Father (if you are a man)
  2. Father (if you are a woman) Mother (if you are a man)
  3. Siblings: Brothers and Sisters
  4. Cousins and Relatives
  5. Fake Cousins & Siblings (People they grew up close to)
  6. Good Friends
  7. Enemies and Distant Friends
  8. People They think are lower than them: Glue sniffers, train wrecks, girls with yellow teeth, girls with horrible stretch marks that show them often, girls with too much make up, girls with 80’s hair, really really short guys, guys with shirtless pictures on the internet, juice heads who have no clue, spanish & black guys (if you are white, cause that will make a white man really mad..)…etc…not in that order…

In any event, you get them back! But if you’re really an adult, you will forgive, forget and when you see her again, you say, yes, that is a great idea, I would like fries with that! And then you take your french fries and you leave!  After all, we all know that cheating exes end up working at a fast food restaurant or with some other horrible situation in the years that follow our relationships…

Disclaimer: This post uses terms like “homo thug” and does so lovingly.  This site and this post are in no way intended to in anyway disrespect, vex, or alarm homosexuals.  In fact, we are very happy to have all people as readers of our site.   Anyone that thinks the term “homo thug” is derogatory has never been punched in the face by a thugged out homosexual.  If I was in a fight, I should only be so lucky if a thugged out homosexual were to punch someone in the face for me.  You should be so lucky as well.  That is all I have to say about that…

WHAT IS A MILF?

I know I have your attention. Recently, with the explosion of women who have children looking for men online and in online dating, I have noticed a proliferation in screen names and log in IDs with word combinations containing the acronym MILF. MILF646. MILF4U. MILF&COOKIES. You know what I mean. But have you ever seen some of these people? You look at their profiles and it’s a woman with Huge breasts, rolls on her sides, and six kids flanking her. If she’s black, three are asian. It is really seriously wrong.

So let me set the record straight, just so that you know, and maybe you can warn your friends. YOU CAN NOT JUST GO CALL YOURSELF A MILF. Its not just wrong, its wrong. Why you ask? Because you have no idea what MILF MEANS.

For instance, you cant say as a woman, “I am 5’5” and have 3 children. Don’t worry, I am a MILF”. You can’t just call yourself a MILF. Why? Because MILF stands for Mother I’d Love to F#%k. That’s right. I said it. It stands for Mother I’d Love to F#%k. So how can you say that? You don’t know me. And even if you do, you don’t know that I’d Love to F#%k you. MILF is a special designation. If comes from the backrooms of adolescent males who were just discovering sex and lust and noticed why the men in the neighborhood all turned their heads when a certain friends mother walked by. It is one of those American Pie, Y tu mama tambien type designations (both are references to movies in which the MILF is explored). Its not just an acronym, it’s a freakin adventure and daydream unto itself. Reality can’t possibly bring one to the places the phrase MILF can. Its just impossible. It’s the height of the wet dream. It is the dream. It’s not MOTHER I’D LIKE TO F#%K. Its not pretty older woman. It is Mother I’d Love To F#%k. You can’t just call yourself that. You have to be a mother and I have to want to do animalistic things to you for you to get such a designation. It’s the difference between liking something and coveting it to the point that god is going to send you to hell because it is so serious.

Urbandictionary.com, a random site, defines MILF as:

milf
6710 up, 898 down

“Mother I’d Like (to) F#%k”
mothers, whether married, separated or divorced, that a male individual sees as physical attractive enough to want to have sexual intercourse with them. Just cuz their moms doesn’t mean that they don’t need a spark in their love life. If they’ve ever breastfed,they have really responsive nipples and a core of erectile tissue in their breasts. The ones in good shape have worked at regaining control over their vaginas (Kegel exercises).  MILFs are usually real careful about birth control, they know accidents happen but they take responsible steps. They want to fuck with abandon, with no romantic complications for their under-19 family.
A MILF is any mother that is sexually desirable.

They have it almost right…but as you can see…the term inspires pure craziness. However, either way you put it, it’s a label that only the beholder can really accurately convey. However, in today’s online booty call age, it is slowly becoming less accurate to describe an amazingly sexy woman and more a signal that some nasty hoodrat wants you to go to her house and have sex with her while her children lie in the same bed. It has to stop.

So don’t call yourself a MILF…

Cause you can’t be a MILF unless the person you are speaking to says so!

Check out this related post: Urban Relationship Advice: The Bottom Bit#$H

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Tired of the same old dating sites and social networking sites?  Keep seeing the same old tired people on those social networking sites?  You don’t have to get rid of your facebook friends..

Looking for some new friends?  Someone to talk to?  A new companion?  A new enemy?  If so, check out http://www.meetme.com/ which seems to look and function a lot like Myspace.com which we loved.  People loved myspace, they just don’t want to be caught on myspace because it is no longer the cool go to site.  You can sign up and set up a profile for free using your facebook information.

Check out Meetme.com here:

Meet Me: http://www.meetme.com/

Check out our previous post: 3 Free Dating Sites to Help You Get Over A Breakup

 

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Sometimes you just can’t make up what is happening when people cheat.  You can think that you know someone, but the truth is, they can be into all sorts of crazy freaky stuff.  To be sure, you just never really know who someone is!

In this crazy episode of Cheaters, which is brought to you via World Star Hip Hop, some poor unfortunate herb (that is a guy who just got a bad bounce in this case) comes home to his house to find his girlfriend cheating.  He knew she was probably cheating..but what he found was sure to shock and awe.  We still don’t know exactly what we saw, but it was cheating, it was strange and it was definitely the closest thing to carnival or circus sex we have ever seen!  Masks and construction tape, make up and vests, creepy carnival music and a role playing girlfriend who was doing the nasty with some sort of Halloween monster…you just have to see for yourself..

Title this one: “I am gonna have to catch a case…”


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3 Ways To Catch A Cheater

by Reconsider.Us

Do you suspect your mate of cheating?  Think you are the only one with a cheating spouse or a cheating partner? You are not alone! Thousands of men & Women a year suspect their mates of cheating on them with another man or woman.  Are these questions on your mind:

Need help finding out whether your mate is cheating? There are ways to catch a cheating spouse!  Here are three methods of finding your mate if they are cheating or engaged in infidelity.  While no method is absolutely effective, using these sites might increase your likelihood of catching a cheating significant other and/or finding that cheating wife, cheating husband, cheating boyfriend, cheating girlfriend or cheating booty call!  Do these things and CATCH A CHEATER IN THE ACT!

1) SEARCH THE DATING SITES AND APPS!

This may seem obvious, but often, just searching sites and apps will reap great rewards. Remember to sign up and look for changes in his or her information. Ages might be changed as may be professional information and even zip codes. Often, a cheater will use the zip code closer to work or where they want to hang out.  This is especially true when people travel. You may catch a cheater in the dating pool of a city that is on the itinerary.

Don’t know where to look?  Most People don’t!  That is why cheaters get to be online.  However, if you can GOOGLE, then you can find the person on sites and apps!  But don’t stop at Google!  Here are 11 places that you can look to catch a cheater!



Canoodle was a search engine for dating profiles!  It was like Google but for dating site profiles.  Canoodle boasted that it had the LARGEST database of dating site profiles!  So if you want to catch someone cheating on an online dating site, Canoodle.com is without a doubt the FIRST place that would have/should checked!  According to Canoodle, they have indexed over twenty million dating profiles.  That is a lot of people and without a doubt, someone there is cheating! *UPDATE-Canoodle seems to have changed and is not providing the information they once did.

2) SHUT YOUR MOUTH!!

Never let a cheater know that you may be on to him or her.  Suspicion that is relayed through communication or action will serve to help the Cheater, not you.  How?  Simple.  If someone knows that you may be on to him or her, he or she will change up their behaviors or just work harder to evade capture.  Your biggest advantage is having the cheater think that everything is ok. No one is going to admit to cheating before they are caught cheating.  Ok, people do sometimes admit to cheating before they are caught cheating, but don’t assume that will happen.

If you start changing your patterns or behavior, the cheater will take notice.  If you start to confront the person, you put the cheater on notice that you believe something is happening.  If this is done prematurely, you can possibly destroy any chance that you may have of catching the cheater in the act!

3) TAKE NOTICE OF THE DETAILS – THEY MATTER

The truth is always in the details.  If you suspect someone is cheating on you, remember, the details will often lead you to the truth.  If someone is usually not well kept and is going out of his or her way to look nice, something is up!  If he or she has a seventies bush in the lower regions and all of a sudden it is trimmed and in the 21st Century, you may have cause for alarm…

Many people will say look for numbers and slips of paper.  However, it is the twenty first century.  People now get numbers in their phones, on email, etc.  But, it doesn’t hurt to look for numbers on slips of paper.  Remember, they may change the gender of the name to throw you off.  Another way to snoop is to backup the phone book electronically periodically and then load each backup into Microsoft Word and do a document compare, looking for new numbers.  Some people have hundreds of contacts, and this is the only way to find someone once they are in the phone.  More ways to find a cheater:

Do you suspect a MAN is cheating on you? Take notice of the following:

  • Are their hairs around that should not be there?  In his apartment? On his clothing? In the bathroom?  Women Shed and Hair is hard to get rid of.
  • Do you suspect someone is having sex in your bed? Change the sheets before you leave and invest in a small black light.  It will show what you need to see if it is there.
  • Is the phone being turned off randomly while he is out?  Is this new behavior?
  • Remember, he may not be cheating with a woman!  There are plenty of men who cheat with other men!

Do you suspect a WOMAN is cheating on you? Take notice of the following:

  • Is the toilet seat up?  This is often a very easy and commonsensical way to tell if a Man has been in the house.  Lets face it: Women don’t leave the toilet seat up!
  • Do you suspect someone is having sex in your bed? Change the sheets before you leave and invest in a small black light.  It will show what you need to see if it is there.
  • Is there a plutonic friend around? Maybe someone she has been talking about more than usual?  Are they hanging out?
  • Is she hanging out with friends more than usual? Remember, unlike men, who often turn the phone off, a woman will call you while with the person she is cheating with.  Often, he knows what is up, you don’t.
  • Remember, she may not be cheating with a man!  There are plenty of women who cheat with other women!

4) SEARCH FOR THEIR EMAIL ADDRESSES AND OTHER SCREEN NAMES

People will often reuse their email addresses or screen names.  Make it a point to search for these things.  Use combinations of search terms such as <username> and <socialmediasite> and you may even find the person’s messages & communications with other people, especially on sites like instagram. This can be true even for blocked profiles!  Often google crawls and other third party sites keep snapshots of social media activity!

5) TAKE THEIR PROFILE PICTURES OR OTHER VANITY SHOTS AND REVERSE PICTURE SEARCH ON GOOGLE!

Google is powerful. Google Images is even more powerful!  People often reuse photos.  Sometimes, you can use google and search for a person with their profile picture from another site, such as facebook.  It is shocking how many cheaters co-mingle their pictures not realizing that they can be detected because they use the same picture! TinEye is another reverse picture search site that you can use to search for someone’s social media profile or search for someone’s dating site profile using a picture.

CLICK HERE TO SEARCH GOOGLE IMAGES



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3 Free Dating Sites to Help You Get Over A Break Up

Find A Date & Get Back on the Relationship Bandwagon!

So you have recently broken up with your Ex.  Considering web dating?  Your relationship may be over but your life is not. Sometimes the best way to cope with the end of a relationship is to get back into the game.

Are you asking yourself any of these questions:

  • How do I find a man?
  • How do I find a woman?
  • How do I find a girlfriend?
  • How do I find a boyfriend?
  • How do I find a wife?
  • How do I find a husband?
  • How do I find a rich man?
  • How do I find a rich woman?

If so, you need to find a date!

Whether you have lost a Boyfriend, Girlfriend or a Friend with Benefits, consider web dating!  These three free dating sites will help you find someone special and bring love back into your life!  At the very least, these web dating sites will take you on a great adventure!

Before you fall into relationship depression, try to find someone new.  However, if you still can’t break your depression, you may seek to find relationship counseling or training from a qualified Dr. of Love!  Be aware, many say that finding someone new to spend time with is one of the greatest end of relationship strategies you can employ! You had a break up, now go make up for lost time!

 

1) OKCupid.com http://www.okcupid.com

OkCupid is a site which can help even the most discriminating person find their soulmate.  The site does many things to match you to someone who you are compatible with.  They have rankings which tell you if someone is meant for you, meant to be a friend or is your enemy.  They even have a feature which shows you three people that the site thinks you might make a good match with.

For some reason however, the people on OKCUPID tend to be a little more….how do we say this…uppity at times.  It is as if you are talking to people at church when dealing with some profiles.  This could be because the population that OKCUPID attracts tends to be someone weary of internet dating.

Web Dating Tip: You can add someone as a favorite on the site and track them without knowing by making sure that your preferences are set to denying notification.

Beware: When you rank women/men on OKCUPID, they will inform anyone that you rank four stars or better that you have ranked them as such.  This can be awkward.

Also, if you want to browse profiles anonymously, you should set your settings to such IMMEDIATELY upon joining.  Otherwise, anyone who you view on the site can see that you viewed their profile.  Note, if you turn off this feature, you can no longer see who was looking at your profile.

Guys: Want to be a Dating Bad A$$? 

Click Here to watch this controversial video before it gets BANNED!

 

2) Plentyoffish.com aka POF.com http://www.pof.com

POF is much like the wild west of dating sites.  POF.com has tons of profiles.  Lots.  Hundreds of thousands all over the country.  This can be a good thing.  However, sorting through the site can be like finding a great item at TJ Max or Marshalls: You just don’t know what you will find and if you find a gucci shoe, it may be missing the other shoe.

Such being the case, Plentyoffish.com is an excellent website for you to browse singles in your area or in some other area that you are interested in.

Web Dating Tip: Don’t fall victim to the CUT AND PASTE or use one liners.  POF user’s are very weary of people who write short one liners and/or who cut and paste the same message to lots of people.  It is a small world.  Also, guys should be aware that women tend to affirmatively hate on men who have no shirts on in their profile pictures on POF.com.

Beware: Be very careful how you set your preferences as to what you are looking for in life and on the site.  If you set your preferences to Intimate Encounter or something that states that you are just looking for a good time, the site will actually BLOCK YOU from writing to certain profiles.  Our intel also suggests that writing to someone with those settings might also lead to your being blocked and prevented from talking to certain people who set their settings to preclude you from talking to them!

3) Yelp.com http://www.yelp.com

YELP IS NOT A DATING SITE..

That is what most Yelper’s say at least.  After all, Yelp is a restaurant review site which has tens of thousands of users.  However, Yelp, like many medicines has an interesting secondary use that it was not prescribed for: it can make for an amazing dating site!  That is right: YELP IS A DATING SITE!  This can however, be good and bad.

Yelpers as they are called, make profiles on yelp and review places that they have been to.  They are very friendly and love to talk about being foodies and their tastes and interests.  In fact, they LOVE that you care at all.  This is something that you can use.  By Yelping your favorite places and writing to people who frequent them, you can find someone who has similar interests and have insight into what a potential mate’s likes and dislikes are without even meeting them.  We know…scary…just be careful…

Web Dating Tip: Yelp has events which they pay for that bring people together!  They require everyone to wear a name tag.  They even have an “Elite Squad” which gets to go to more free events at which strangers are encouraged to mingle!

Web Dating Tip: Yelp has an unexpectedly large Asian population.  If you are looking to meet an Asian man or looking to meet an Asian girl, Yelp is a great place to meet Asian people.  Those of you who want to date Asian women or date Asian men may find luck on Yelp.  That being said, don’t date people simply because you have a fetish.

Beware: The proper Yelp etiquette for chatting is not the direct message.  Yelpers initially write and get to know each other using “compliments” which are public messages that are much like writing on someone’s facebook wall.  Yelpers are known to have whole conversations through compliments.  Use Compliments before you use direct messages, as using direct messages can make you look like a creep or stalker.

 

Whatever you decide to do, GOOD LUCK LOOKING FOR LOVE!

These sites offer:

dating for men, dating for women, dating for guys, dating for girls, dating for straight men, dating for gay men, dating for straight women, dating for lesbian/gay women.


Clearance at EdenFantasys! Save Up to 70% Off on Sex Toys!

 

Guys: Want to know how one guy went from pathetic to Dating BadA#$? Click Here!

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