Archive for September, 2012

Jerry Robinowitz on: The man shortage….

Jerry Robinowitz on Life is a little something we have worked up where Jerry helps me write about new and important issues…..

Jerry Robinowitz on: The man shortage….
This is a good time to be a man in the United States…there are not enough men to go around…for sometime now, we have been aware of the fact that there is a man shortage…not a shortage of good men…but of men in general, men who can read…men with all of their teeth…just plain average I can chew my food without assistance kind of men…but it seems based upon observations of behavior by women and through conversations and generally based upon information and belief that the man shortage is not as well known as it should be, so we will inform you here of this horrible situation.(yeah right…the men in cities with a man shortage think that it is great…)There is a man shortage.don`t believe me? think about this for a second….how many women do you know that end up getting with these ugly, thuggish, “he don’t even brush his teeth or wash” kind of guys? I bet more than you realize!  Often, women will date men who are just beneath them or who they believe have potential?Why?You really think it is because they are humanitarians? I mean come on, I will share a bar of ivory soap, your man does not have to stink.  Actually, what is going on can actually be fully understood when looked at in the context of the man shortage!  You see, no one is picking up sticks and going home to make toothpicks. Why? Because there are toothpicks all over the place and they are readily available. You ain’t home carving toothpicks on Sundays.  Likewise, I ain’t never picked up a straw and some cotton and tried to make a Q-tip. Why? Because there are Q-tips all over the place and you can just go to a 99 cent store and buy a hundred of them.  There is no shortage of these things so we don’t do foolish things to compensate. However, note the following: Have you ever been caught somewhere without a spoon with an individual sized pudding or cup of soup or something like that? It happens every now and again and what happens? You become Maguyver…you start inventing stuff you didn’t even know was possible.  You can be bad at math, but you will find yourself doing calculus to figure out the radius of some silly object u are about to fashion into a spoon so that you can consume your delectable delight. Why? Because there is a spoon shortage or no spoon is readily available. Once I made chop sticks out of two number two pencils to eat cup o noodles in my office at like 3am when I was working on something.  Now back to what I was saying…see…there is a man shortageand women start trying to fashion themselves a Fabio!  It is really sad!  Women start saying to themselves – “he doesn’t really stink” or after looking at his teeth, they start telling themselves “that’s not really yellow.”  But honey, it is yellow and you better be careful because when he drinks water it probably tastes like lemonade!The sad truth is, in many cities in the United States and around the world, there is a serious man shortage!  However, there is hope.  Even though there are not enough men to go around, you can be proactive and make the best of a bad situation.

HOW TO COPE WITH A MAN SHORTAGE:

1) Become informed about the man shortage!  Tell your friends. Discuss the problem. Be proactive!

2) If you find a good man, don’t tell your friends.   If you find a good man, do n0t let him leave! You stalk the crap out of him (unless he`s Jerry Robinowitz or myself of course, then you keep your freaking distance or we will choke you with a chicken bone)!

3) Do not spend your time playing games.  There is a man shortage. Other women know that there is a man shortage.  Remember, one person`s inhibitions are another person`s point of entry!  What does that mean? Let’s look at some examples (some crude examples):

You don’t want to swallow? That is okay.  You don’t have to.  However, don’t expect a man in a city with a man shortage to stick around!  Some chick is going to do it.  That is right, you have inhibitions and won’t do things?   Fine!  Some hoochie is calling his phone or writing him on Twitter or Facebook and telling him that you are a “prude” and that she likes it up the nose.  Seriously.  I know you were not prepared for that, but it is the truth!  Come on, don’t lose your man to some chick who is so loose she takes it up the nose!  In a city with a man shortage, you must do anything you have to in order to Make it happen!  Keep that man!

4) Avoid Guys in Jail!  Remember: you have better things to do on Saturdays than to visit jail! If he is there, hey, I am not hating but, at least wait until he comes home before you start fashioning yourself a Fabio. Live life women!  The truth is, in jail, you won’t know if the love is real, because well, he is a captive.  Now if you were with him before, he stood by you and you love him, that may be different, but most of the time, that is not the case.  Look I totally understand that the loose chick who takes it up the nose is visiting him too but hey, you gotta be strong!

5) You have to do the 50-50 thing!  Don’t ask him to pay for everything. All of those crazy antiquated dating rules go out the window in a city with a man shortage.  They were created in a time where it was a lot harder to meet and date a good woman.  Be a student of history and the economy.  If not, you will always lose to a more on point chick who is not trying to take him for all of his stuff.  Most likely, he has nothing. If he does have lots of money, go to the top of this paragraph and begin to reread. This is important. There are women out there who can cook, clean and hold down nice jobs. They just want company and companionship. They will pay for it. They will kill for it. Men love these women. The hoodrats say they are “wifey material”. The thugs call them “ride or die chicks”.  Sometimes they are “Sugar mommas”. They will be supportive of him, even when he is at his worse.  They will hold him down, feed him and not stress him. They will always win in the end. Even stupid men who go out “play” or “stray” at clubs or in other situations, do so and then return to these women. You will never win out to one if you are not one. I am not saying you are not one of those women but if you are not, please go back and start reading this paragraph again. Look: don’t be a “jigga you dont buy me reeboks no more” kind of woman.

6)  If you have a man, you hold onto him for dear life!  He wants to go to the store? Take your butt with him.   He has to pee? Go with him! Hold it if you have to…at least then you know where it is! I mean come on…there is a chick out there taking it up the nose…don’t take any chances

7) If you meet a woman and she has unusually large and loose nostrils you kick the crap outta her and u let her know to stay away from your man. Don’t have a man? You kick that chick in the nose and tell her that she better not mess your hustle up, because you’re trying to make it happen!  Don’t be shy!

8) Finally, if you have tried everything and nothing works…you didn’t hear this from me but I hear some men like to put it in the nose…..

Until next time….good luck and god speed…this is Jerry Robinowitz and I signing off….

 

best first date ideas & dating tips first date

5 First Date Ideas

New to dating?  New to the dating scene?  Maybe you have been dating for a while but have learned the hard way that dating can be expensive!  Looking for inexpensive and/or free dates?  Here are five first date ideas to help you have an amazing time with someone!  Plan the best first date ever!

First Date Idea #1

Go Out to Eat At A Restaurant!

The best first date ideas are often those that are time tested.  This is a classic first date idea.  However, you should choose restaurants that are interesting.  Japanese and Korean BBQ places are often cool because you are cooking with one another and they can be exciting.  Such places force people to communicate and can be used to encourage interaction and teamwork.  Cooking together can be an amazing bonding experience!  This is a way to do that outside of the house!   Avoid places that are not conducive to communication.  Also, avoid discussing exes and prior relationships unless asked, and even then, don’t go into the debbie downer details.

First Date Idea Tip: Use Yelp to lower your dating costs!  Did you know that Yelp has amazing coupons & deals on thousands of restaurants?  Pick the restaurant ahead of time on YELP DEALS & you can save serious money while eating at amazing places.  The Yelp program will allow you to get huge discounts on restaurants and bars if you buy a voucher for use on the SAME DAY.  If you are subtle enough and pull the waiter aside to discuss the details, she will never know!  Programs such as this can allow you to do more with less money and look good while doing it!  CLICK HERE for more information on Yelp Deals

 

First Date Idea #2

This first date idea is more of an idea of what not to do: DON’T GO TO THE MOVIES.

Movies are a HORRIBLE place to have a first date!  How can you talk during a film in a dark room?  Don’t even think about taking a girl you don’t know into a room and fondling her or trying to get to ANY base.  This is douche bag territory and should be avoided at all costs!  Movie theaters are not conducive to communication and that is the goal on the first date: to communicate!  Going to the movies is a really bad first date idea.  AVOID IT AT ALL COSTS, EVEN IF THE OTHER PERSON SUGGESTS IT!

 

First Date Idea #3

 Meet Up For A Drink

“Drink” doesn’t just mean alcohol.  The goal is to talk and communicate and get to know one another.  Alcohol and bars are just one way to do such a thing.  However, some people do not like to go out drinking.  Make sure you ask before you invite.  You can always go to a coffee shop or have hot chocolate somewhere.  Places like DAVE & BUSTERS with Games and other such amusements are also good choices for first dates.

First Date Idea Tip: Like the advice in First Date Idea #1, you can use vouchers from YELP DEALS to get restaurant & bar discounts.  There are often some amazing bars included and the vouchers often cover food & drinks!  These types of discount programs can save you a fortune on drinks and can open up your options dramatically.  Look for rooftop bars & fancy places like speakeasys.  Often, some very trendy places are participating in groupon and Yelp instant deals.  This is especially cool and useful when the date is not planned but rather spontaneous.  Yelp Deals are often discounts on the SAME DAY.  Just check the inventory and see what is available! CLICK HERE for more information on Yelp Deals

 

First Date Idea #4

 Take a Day Trip to a Nearby City!

If your date is spontaneous and likes adventure, suggest taking a bus to a nearby city!  Are you in New York?  If so, consider taking a bus from Chinatown or Midtown to Boston or Philly!  Bolt Bus and Mega Bus are pretty cool options and can be pretty cheap.  The best part: buses are public places, so you don’t have to worry about awkward alone moments!  You can book seats up to the time of departure on many buses! If your city is not ideal for you, another city can be a great place for dating!

First Date Idea Tip: Like the advice in First Date Idea #1, you can use vouchers from YELP DEALS to get restaurant & bar discounts & site seeing in another city.   CLICK HERE for more information on Yelp Deals

 

First Date Idea #5

 Free Dates!  Have a picnic or scavenger hunt around your city!

If your date likes parks or the outdoors, you should consider a picnic.  Picnic’s are cool because you can plan them and have them in some amazing places: Parks, Sidewalks, on Ferries, on mountains after a hike, etc.

First Date Idea Tip: Want to have a more adventurous first date?  Have a scavenger hunt!  Find out what your date is interested in and create a hunt that takes you to get items related to that interest all over the city!  Make maps and checklists!  Take pictures doing silly things.  This can be a great idea if you are new to dating as it is an activity that is not your normal date!

First Date Idea Tip: Put five different date ideas in a bag or cup and have your date pick them one at a time.  If she likes the first one, she might ask to pick again!


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